Are people blowing off what you are saying and not really taking you seriously?
Do you want to be treated with respect and have your opinions acknowledged?
To be effective at work or in your home, it pays to be listened to. People have always been able to judge their sense of self-worth by whether or not people pay attention to what they’re saying. If you can’t hold someone else’s attention, they will discount your opinions, suggestions and in the worst case, they will discount you.
If you find yourself wanting of such a skill, then read the following steps to learn how to speak so that others want to listen.
Step 1: Don’t fill the conversational space
No one listens to someone who constantly fills the conversational space by talking 100% of the time. The magical number you want to be striving for is listening to others 80% of the time and speaking 20% of the time. This way when you do decide to speak about something others will be intrigued as to what you have to say.
Step 2: Add some vocal variety to your speech
When you listen to some great speakers, you will find that they are never boring to listen to. One of the ways they achieve this is by adding some inflection in their tone of voice. Afterall tone of speech accounts for 38% of communication between humans. This means sometimes you have to speak slowly like a sage, other times you need to shout like a warrior, and then sometime you need to whisper like a lover. So don’t be afraid to experiment with these and see how people respond. The last thing anybody wants is to listen to somebody that speaks in a monotone.
Step 3: Add some humour
Everybody enjoys a good chuckle now and then. By adding humour when your speak you just make your listener experience that much more pleasurable. However dont become the comedian and get carried away. Afterall if you are always joking around about everything, how do you expect to be taken seriously?
Step 4: Avoid hyperbole.
Hyperbole is when you exaggerate for dramatic effect. This is very common in modern day speech. An example would be describing something as “awesome”, when it was really just nice. If you use hyperbole too often, people will start to think that you’re exaggerating all the time and they won’t take your words at face value.
Step 5: Take your time and avoid crutch words
People are naturally attracted to confident people. Therefore people who display confidence have a greater chance of commanding a person’s ear. On the contrary however, nothing shows insecurity and nervousness more than someone who, apologizes when they shouldn’t, asks permission when they should take the initiative, or fill their speech with meaningless crutch words like like Um’s, Ah’s, Uh’s. They help us fill the gap in a conversation or speech when we’re unsure of how to proceed, or haven’t quite thought out the best way to say something.
By practicing these steps in your daily speech and conversation, you will be moving one step closer to becoming someone who naturally commands presence when they speak, making people want to listen.
If you enjoyed this article and want to learn more about how to command more presence socially and professionally, then click HERE.