Being a gentleman in modern times has certainly changed since the golden days where men were expected to wear the pants in the family. This now a time gone past and in its wake a new era has arrived in which men need to understand what is required of them, and how society handles the new gentleman.
A study was done where they found that men’s testosterone levels in western society were diminishing with age however men who lived in more primitive societies had a constant testosterone level regardless of their age.
Men are no longer required to defend their honor in a duel or show of brute strength. Neither are they expected to walk out of the shower looking and acting like Don Drapper.
As a result of this change in our social status pool, a gentleman has to abide by new rules if he wishes to hold the title.
Therefore we have assembled a list of gentlemanly traits that will help any discerning or aspiring gentleman along their path of class and stature.
– Talk people up- simple. Make people feel good about themselves.
– Avoid gossip, it only reflects poorly on you. Most Importantly a Gentleman does not say sexist, racist, homophobic or any hateful comments to his friends or anyone for that matter, at any time. Apart from it being absolutely unacceptable. It will almost certainly reflect upon you and damage your reputation.
– Gentlemen should always encourage other men to uplift and better themselves, by being a positive role model to their friends, peers and family.
– Taking an interest in each person and allowing them an opportunity to talk and share their opinions
– They do not feel the need to dominate an environment but rather act as the mediator between people, engaging everyone.
– If there is anyone behind you, not only women, hold the door for them. Try and make this a daily practice.
– If you see someone struggling with their luggage, ask if they would like help
– Looking after the needs of everyone at a party, Introducing new people to different groups and including people who are standing on their own in conversations are all signs of a great Gentlemen.
– Show simple courtesy and make it a part of your character trait, I understand that this involves a bit of work but constant repetition of these tasks actually refines one’s attitude and behaviour. This is something that will eventually make you a better person.
– Expect nothing in return. Generosity should be a fundamental character trait, not a nice guy who attaches strings to his “Niceness.”
– Develop a fight the herd mentality. Don’t be afraid of the opinions of others. If you feel like standing up and doing something chivalrous, do it with confidence.
– In relationships, avoid becoming lazy and indecisive.
– There is nothing that makes you seem less intelligent and less of a gentleman than using profanity on a daily basis. You lose credibility as a gentleman almost instantly.
Just because we have seen the end of an era, does not mean the art of gentlemanly behaviour has been lost. As you can see a lot of the same rules apply. However the fundamental change we have gone through would have to be that of a mindset change.
On that note, my parting words to you the discerning Gentleman. Donning an exquisite suit doesn’t make you a Gentleman. Humility and Character do.
The suit comes after 😉