Tired of failed tinder dates – 5 Simple steps to becoming a successful online dater
So you’ve recently discovered the wonders of a dating app called Tinder, and its power to transform the ways in which we find love today. So you decide to set up your profile and swipe away. Everything seems to go just fine until that ever so crucial first date.
You’re nervous, worried that your photo selection on tinder doesn’t account for the weight you’ve gained recently. You’re not sure what to talk about and before you know it the date is over, and all of a sudden your texts to that person start to go unanswered. Sound Familiar?
Well many of us have been there far too many times for comfort, so today I’ve decided to go over the five points for improvement if you want to be successful at translating your online dating into face-to-face dating.
Have a conversation opener
Social anxiety creeps up the most on a first date, leaving you with absolutely nothing to say as your brain is spray painted with a stress hormone which literally stops you from thinking. This can be extremely annoying since before that you had a hundred things to say! However there is a life hack you can use when it comes to getting that small talk going. Have 2 or 3 tried and tested conversation starters on hand, to bust out in those awkward moments of silence just to get the ball rolling.
Now that we have small talk out the way, there’s another crucial aspect to take into account when it comes to conversation. In order to build rapport you always want to highlight the areas where you are the same, and avoid the areas where you are different. Why? Because people like people that are like themselves. So if he/she says that she loved the avatar movie, and you comment saying that you hated it, you’re almost guaranteeing your failure. You don’t have to agree but perhaps do not highlight all the aspects where you are different at the very start.
Remember the first date is an opportunity to really build the “connection”.
Watch this video to see how you can build rapport with someone unconsciously.
If you show up to your Tinder date first, don’t have your back to the door. Your date is going to have to awkwardly shoulder tap you and look for you. Keep your body language open and keep an eye on the door if you are the first to arrive. Alternatively it’s always a good idea to wait by the bar before going to the table.
Chill on the booze
While we are on the topic of waiting at the bar, it’s a date, not a frat party. This is one of those obvious Tinder date tips. Moderate your alcohol intake on your first Tinder date. Most horror stories of Tinder dates I have heard always end with someone drinking too much and not handling their alcohol. This is a sure fire way of ruining that crucial first impression.
Instead of worrying about yourself and what he/she may be thinking of you. Rather be curious and take an interest in your date. Listen to what they are saying and ask them questions based on what they have already said. By taking the focus off yourself, and placing it on your date, it helps you to relax and actually enjoy the experience of the first date.
Who knows it might just be your last 😉
Now that you know what to do, it helps to remember that feeling nervous is natural and occurs in all of us at some time or another. When it happens again, just remember that the person you’re on a date with is probably feeling exactly the same way. Then just remember to take an interest in the other person, and follow the guide and all should go well .