Do you rely on alcohol to make you more confident at events?
When you’re sober do you often feel too shy to socialise with others?
Do you feel more confident and capable only when you’ve had a few to drink?
Do you sometimes wonder if alcohol is the only way to make yourself more sociable?
You’re not alone, 75% of adults suffer from social anxiety when attending events with strangers and many people do rely on alcohol to make them more confident at events.
As much as alcohol serves as a powerful social lubricant in most situations, it isn’t the only way to become the most memorable person (or in fact the most memorable person for the wrong reasons). You’ll be delighted to know that there is a much simpler and cheaper way of getting the job done.
Below we are going to look at three ways to improve your sociability so that you naturally find the confidence to get along with anyone in any situation:
- Know what’s happening in the world
Part of being victorious in your aim to socialise without alcohol is to be well prepared. One of the best ways to do this is to know what’s happening in the world. Watch the news or read a newspaper every once in a while.
That way when you do find yourself chatting with someone new, you can always chat about something interesting that’s going on in the world. Even if you don’t know too much about the story, knowing the main headlines is enough to spark a conversation, e.g. “Hey have you heard anything on the new FIFA World cup bid?” People love being asked questions about stories they know about.
- Make sure you’re sending the right message
What we have found with people who rely on alcohol to become more sociable, is that when they aren’t drinking, they tend to take on closed body positions.
This sends a signal to everyone around you that you’re nervous and you don’t want anyone to talk to you.
If you didn’t know it already, your body speaks! So give yourself the upper hand, try to avoid these positions in a social setting:
- Crossed Arms or Legs
- Holding onto things i.e. Handbags or tables
- Fidgeting of any sort
These positions show signs of Nervousness, discomfort and defensiveness. Neither of which is a message you want to send.
- Ask Ask Ask!
It’s been proven that the best conversationalists talk 20% the time, and listen for the remaining 80%. With that in mind, how do they do it? It’s simple… they ask questions!
Questions are the foundation for any good conversation, why? What are you doing when you ask someone a question? You are validating them, and essentially telling them that you value their opinion.
However don’t fall into the trap of asking too many questions in quick succession, thus turning the conversation into an interrogation. Don’t be afraid to share and relate stories of your own to any stories they might tell you.
The bottom line: Go with 5 conversation starters that will ensure you never run out of anything to say.
A quick and interesting note, you will never completely remove your social anxiety but rather, you will get used to the feeling. Rather through knowing how to behave you will learn to become more comfortable in times of anxiety which in itself will reduce your anxiety levels.
Understand that with all things in life, you’re not going to get this right off the bat. It will take one or two occasions, but practice to perfect this art. With the right mindset and perhaps a little practise, you can absolutely learn how to socialise without alcohol.
If you’d like to learn more on how to improve your sociability and reduce your anxiety perhaps you’d be interested in attending our Social Etiquette & Behaviour course, by clicking HERE.
Alternatively if you’d like to speak to a consultant then contact us on firstname.lastname@example.org.